Intensive Purposes

Let's say you're cruising along in life. You have friends. You're confident that the people you like are compassionate, funny and intelligent. Things are great. Then social media enters the picture and those brain-brakes slam on and smoke like they're in any one of the dozen Fast & Furious movies 'cause your cherished bud just typed "for all intensive purposes."

Aw, fuck-balls, NO! Now you're stuck. Sure, everybody makes typos. We all quickly bang out the wrong there/they're/their or your/you're or its/it's from time to time. But this. THIS. You're now confronted with the unavoidable fact that your pal just committed public grammatical dumbassery. And you must now decide which is the lesser of two dick moves. You could point it out and make them feel stupid. Or say nothing and let them continue using this nonexistent phrase while inadvertently announcing to the world, "I'm kinda not-so-bright!"

What's a Peever to do? I say be gentle, be compassionate, be private -- and hack that bitch out of their vocab like the Black Knight in Holy Grail. Rip it off super-fast 'til they scream for Kelly Clarkson. One moment of ouch could save mankind from this linguistic tumor being able to spread further. Take one for the team!

It's one of those phrases that's hard to catch when spoken but obvious-as-fuck when written. Totally understandable - somebody thought they heard it on TV as a kid and just went with it. But it's still gibberish and, for all intents and purposes, it's time for "for all intensive purposes" to go night-night.

And now for something else mind-numbingly aggravating...